That Blind Glass

End of an elementary era

2008-05-13T06:36:00.000-07:00

R. completes elementary school in 7 1/2 days. This has been a watershed year...not the best teacher (well, he had a GREAT student teacher for the first half of the year), but a strict, routine-based teacher, which works well for R. As long as the teacher keeps chaos at bay, that's a good thing for R. We have visited the new middle school, and I hope, hope, hope all will go well there. The good news is that R. has not had any physical altercations this year, which we see as progress and development on his part. I think he is finally able to control that impulse, both at home and at school. He is also writing more and even wrote a comic book with his friends on his own time! He's finally making the connection between writing and fun...I'm so relieved. He is a little sponge...I can't tell you how many facts he knows about the US states (which one has the southernmost capital besides Hawaii? Which one has the fewest people per square foot?) and about the weather (specifically tornadoes). I am hoping that this skill will be useful to him in middle school.

So, we celebrate what he has accomplished over the past 5 years at his school, and look with guarded, hopeful eyes to the future. One day at a time...I never realized what that actually meant until R. came into my life. He is a wonder and a puzzle and my sweet boy.

Honor Roll!

2008-04-02T06:27:00.001-07:00

R. made the A/B honor roll this term...whoo-hoo! He brought up all of his grades...every single one of them. We are so proud!

Oh, and he made it into the middle school we wanted for him. It has an emphasis on Global Awareness and is a partner with our local zoo (it is located right next to the zoo, in fact). I think it will be a good fit for him...I am getting excited about this new school and this new challenge for him.

Principal for the Day!

2008-02-07T08:25:00.000-08:00

In what could be termed an amazing bit of irony, R. has been named "Principal for the Day" at his school this week! After all the trouble we've had with this principal over the years...sigh. Anyway, the good news is that he earned this by his good behavior at school, so I'm so thrilled and proud. Of course, R's first suggestion when he told me about this was that he should use his powers to cancel school that day! Cute kid...

He has been doing so well lately...no issues with outbursts at school in such a long time. He has finally made the connection between doing his homework as soon as he gets home and having free time to play video games, etc. He is maturing and it is so good to see that happening. We're now crossing our fingers in hopes that he gets into the middle school that we applied for in the lottery. We should know something on Feb. 16 when they do the drawing. And as soon as we know something, we will start meeting with the teachers, counselors, and principal there to discuss best strategies for him next year.

But, for now...we are happy that he is Principal for the Day!

What Inclusion Means

2008-01-24T07:55:00.001-08:00

Here is a great article...I'm going to see if i can cut and paste it in.

Benefiting from Inclusion

by Mara Sapon-Shevin

John, a quiet 12-year-old 6th grader at your local middle school, goes through the cafeteria lunch line at noon. After he pays for his food and drink, he starts to put his tray on a table already occupied by other students. One of the boys at the table says, "Go away." John leaves the table and approaches the students at another table. There he is told, "Get out of here." John walks away and puts his tray down at a third table, realizes he's forgotten his straw, and goes back to the lunch line to get one. When he returns to the table where he left his lunch, he finds his tray gone.

Is there a problem here? If so, whose problem is it? What should the school do about this situation? Should John be removed from the school because others don't want to sit with him? How would you feel if John were your son?

Perhaps you'd think that the social climate in the school is highly problematic and that something should be done to build community and develop more appropriate social skills among the students.

What if I told you that John is a student with a wonderful sense of humor, a love of mystery books, an impressive golf swing, and also, by the way, Down syndrome? Would your reaction change? Would you now see the situation differently? Would you say, "Oh, he's special ed!"?

Or, would you ask yourself, "If the students treat John this way, how do they respond to the girl who is overweight, the boy with severe acne, the student who has two lesbian mothers, or the girl who just arrived from Cambodia with limited English skills?" Maybe you'd also think about all the other kinds of differences students bring to school, differences in race, class, language, sexual orientation, gender, or ethnicity, wondering how the school addresses all kinds of kids and their families. No doubt you would find the other students' behavior inappropriate, unacceptable for future citizens of a global community.

This true story helps us think about the ways in which schools both mirror the broader society and create it? How might we use the story of John's mistreatment to think about how we want schools to be and what lessons we want our children to learn?

Inclusion is not about disability, nor is it only about schools. Inclusion is about creating schools -- and a society -- in which all children and their families feel welcomed and valued. Inclusion demands that we ask, "What kind of a world do we want to create and how should we educate students for that world?" "What kinds of skills and commitments do people need to thrive in a diverse society?"

Inclusion benefits all children by helping them to understand and appreciate that the world is big, that people are different, and that we can work together to find solutions that work for everyone. We live in an increasingly diverse world, and all people need to be comfortable and knowledgeable with people who vary in terms of a host of characteristics. It's important to speak more than one language, to understand how to help others who are having trouble and to accept help yourself, to resolve conflicts, to work together to challenge injustice.

Inclusion teaches us to think about "We" rather than "I." Not "Will there be anything for me to eat?" but "How can we make sure there's a snack for everyone?" Not "Will I have friends?" but "How can I be aware of the children here who don't have anyone to play with?" When people who are different from us surround us, we are forced to ask questions that go beyond the individual and address the community and its diversity.

When we have friends who use wheelchairs, we notice that there are steep stairs and no ramps. When we have friends who wear hearing aids, we listen differently to comments like, "What are you, deaf or something?" When we have friends of with different skin colors, we become more alert to racist and exclusionary comments. When we have friends from different religious backgrounds, we are more aware that the decorations in the mall are about only one religion, the songs on the radio affirming only one way of being in the world.

It's very hard to learn to be comfortable with difference in the absence of diversity. Every parent I have met wants his or her child to grow up to be able to move through the world with confidence and skill, and much of that will depend on the kind of education they have received.

Inclusion is not a "favor" for students with disabilities. Inclusion is a gift we give ourselves, the gift of understanding, the gift of knowing that we are all members of the human race, and that true joy comes in building genuine relationships with a wide range of other people. Inclusion also means that we pay careful attention to issues of social justice and diversity. How do children talk to one another? Do they help one another? Is there teasing or exclusion going on?

Teachers spend considerable energy helping students understand their own and others' differences and children are encouraged to ask respectful questions and to learn about one another. Helping is considered essential in the classroom, and time is spent teaching students to support one another through peer mentoring, collaborative learning, and other forms of peer support. In inclusive classrooms, it matters how people treat one another.

Learning to live together in a democratic society is one of the most important goals and outcomes of inclusive classrooms. How could any of us want anything else for our children?

Mara Sapon-Shevin, professor of education at Syracuse University, is the author of Widening the Circle: The Power of Inclusive Classrooms, Beacon Press: 2007. ISBN: 978-8070-3280-0. $14. Her website,www.marasapon-shevin.org, is an excellent resource for curricula and other materials for disability-related instruction and social justice issues.

So far, so good

2008-01-23T08:26:00.001-08:00

R. has survived his re-entry back to school, and seems to be doing well. His resource teacher even told me that he is not spending that much time in her class because he is doing his work in his regular classroom...YAY! I cannot tell you what a great relief this is; I just hope it continues. I turned in his application for the magnet lottery this past week, so I'm in hopes that we'll get our first choice when it comes to middle school for him next year.

Movie update: isn't it tragic news about Heath Ledger? I loved him in Brokeback Mountain, and I'm so sad that he won't be around to see his little girl grow up. He will be missed.

D. and I saw The Diving Bell and the Butterfly last weekend...go see it! An amazing film in terms of cinematography, but also a unique character study. You are required to be present in this film like no other film I've ever seen.

Happy 2008

2008-01-15T07:41:00.000-08:00

First, an R. update: He was back at school last week after the holidays for only one day when he came down with an awful cold. He was out the rest of last week and yesterday (Monday), too. So, he's back today, and I've just got my fingers crossed that he will survive the day. It's always tough for him making the transition from the holidays to his school routine, but it's even made worse by the fact that he's been out sick for so long. He goes to OT on Thursday and his psychologist on Friday, so I'm hoping that he will get back into the swing of things here shortly.

Movie update: Over the holidays, saw "Atonement," "Juno," and "Margot at the Wedding." Loved "Atonement" and "Juno," and I'm still on the fence about "Margot." Is it just me or does Nicole Kidman seem so *over* as an actress? The best part about that movie was Jack Black and his ironic mustache. As for the recent Golden Globes, I was so happy to see that Julie Christie won for "Away from Her"...an amazing film that everyone must go see now! You will probably only want to see it once, but you must see it at least once...such a sad and true and beautiful love story.

Many good days later...

2007-10-17T07:43:00.000-07:00

R. is doing so well in school right now...I am so proud of him and his teachers. It gives me hope for next year when he is in middle school (yes, middle school starts in 5th grade in Metro schools). He has his routine down, and is even doing more writing. He copies down his homework each night into his agenda, and is working so hard on his homework. I have my fingers crossed that the rest of this year will continue on this path.

Here is a quote I found online that I want to share:

"Autists are described by others - and by themselves - as aliens among humans. But there's an irony to this, for precisely the opposite is true. They are us, and to understand them is to begin to understand what it means to be human. Think of it: a disability is usually defined in terms of what is missing. But autism is as much about what is abundant as what is missing, an overexpression of the very traits that make our species unique. Other animals are social, but only humans are capable of abstract logic. The autistic outhuman the humans, and we can scarcely recognize the result." --Paul Collins

HE HAD A GOOD DAY!!!

2007-08-23T11:34:00.001-07:00

I can't believe it...we're only 1 1/2 weeks into the school year, and today, R. had a good day! He did his morning routine, did his work, and earned his prize he was working for today. HOORAY! I can't tell you how much this means to me. Just yesterday, the resource teacher was coming up with yet a new plan because R. had taken something from a classmate and ripped it up. It escalated into R. running at his teacher, but Mr. W (his teacher) followed the BIP (Behavior Improvement Plan) exactly, and a crisis was averted. But, today he followed the rules, did his work and earned a prize.

BIG SIGH! I know that it is just one day, but sometimes one day is all you need to have hope for the next one.

Better days

2007-08-20T07:40:00.001-07:00

So, finally, someone came up with a better solution. R's resource (newspeak for special ed) teacher now meets him at the school doors each day and takes him to his regular classroom. He is comfortable with her since he's known her for over a year, and there is no "going from me directly to New Teacher" anxiety with R. anymore. I wouldn't say he goes to her happily, but there is no fight like there was last week. Big sigh of relief.

More R-isms:

(Talking at the dinner table about him being hungry during the school day):

Me: So, why do you think you are hungrier this year at school?

R: I think it's because lunch is sharper than it was last year.

Me: Sharper? What do you mean?

R: You know how they say "eleven o'clock sharp?" Sharper!

Me: Oh, you mean it's earlier than last year!

R: Right!

The way his mind works....

First day of school

2007-08-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

Conversation in the car on the way to first day of 4th grade:

Me: So, do we need to go over your rules while you are at school?

R: No, I hate school. Why do I have to go?

Me: Well, it is your job, just like my job is to go to work and make money to support our family. Everyone has to either go to work or go to school.

R: What about kittens? Do they have to go to school or go to work?

Me: Well, no.

R: Then, why can't I stay home like the kittens?

Sigh. He didn't want to walk up the stairs (stopped halfway on them and didn't want to budge), he didn't want to go in his classroom, he didn't want to sit in his seat. It took me about 15 minutes, but I finally got him in his seat. And, then I left. Bless his new teacher, and I hope that he has better luck than I did this AM. I haven't had a call from school yet, so--fingers crossed.

All I could think about as I left the school was: I am so envious of all you other parents of kids who are calmly or excitedly sitting in their chairs right now.

Read this article!

2007-07-27T11:14:00.000-07:00

It's a good one.

Kids come back from their dad's in a week...am I ready yet? Mostly. I am going to try a new "chore chart" system this year (but I'm not going to call it that). I've decided to use a visual chart/schedule for R. posted on a bulletin board in his bedroom, so that he can see what he needs to accomplish everyday. It's a modified version of FlyLady (whose system I've started using over the summer--it's working for me so far!). We'll see how it goes.

Appointment with Dr. J. (psychologist) today, and we'll be meeting with R's new teacher next week. Fingers crossed that this year goes better than last!

My new favorite political joke

2007-07-19T13:58:00.000-07:00

George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, and Alberto Gonzales are all flying over New Orleans in a Blackhawk, surveying the progress that has been made in rebuilding the city and the levees. As they fly over the Ninth Ward, Cheney looks out the window, grins, and says, "You know, I could throw a thousand-dollar bill out the window right now and make one of those poor bastards very happy."

Bush says, "Well, I could throw ten hundred-dollar bills out the window right now and make TEN people very happy."

Not to be outdone, Gonzales chimes in, "Oh yeah? Well, I could throw a hundred $10 bills out the window and make a HUNDRED Americans very happy."

Hearing this, the copter pilot rolls his eyes and says, "Man, I could throw all three of you out the window and make 300 million Americans very happy."
Save the world...vote Democratic.

New Movie

2007-06-08T08:08:00.000-07:00

Here's a review for a new movie called "Snow Cake" which stars Sigourney Weaver playing a women on the autism spectrum. Sounds like a good one. Also, you might want to check out
"Mozart and the Whale" if you want to see another movie with characters on the spectrum.

Recent R-isms

2007-05-21T12:19:00.000-07:00

While riding on a big, swinging seahorse at the RenFest:

R: "My nuts have no gravity!"

In church yesterday:

Me: "Isn't that music pretty?"

R: "How can music be pretty? It has no image!"

In the car this weekend, talking about his stuffed animals:

R: "My stuffed animals hate me."

Me: "How do you know? Did they tell you?"

R: "No, they can't talk."

Me: "Well, then how can you tell they hate you?"

R: "Because of their ATTITUDES. And their MOTIONS. And their ACTIONS."

Post before the end of April

2007-04-24T07:29:00.000-07:00

So, here we are and I'm back to my old ways (not posting for months at a time). Update: R. is doing very well in school...his new teacher is awesome! She has literally turned a horrible school year around for R., and for that, we are eternally grateful. R. loves his new psychologist (Dr. J.), and she seems to have had such a positive impact on him these past few months. He actually asked to call his dad a few times in the last few weeks (something he would never have done before), and he is now writing so much better (still a bit hard to decipher his handwriting, but he is getting faster and less frustrated with his writing). We had a funny conversation the other day:

R. wanted me to say "yes" to something he wanted to do.

Me: R., I'm still thinking about it.

R: Well, is it "yes" or "no?"

Me: I'm in the middle...I'm halfway to "yes."

R: Then, what will you do with the other half?

Literalism rears its funny head again. He turns 9 in one week....hard to believe! He's having his birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese...let's hope we all survive!

Another Brick in the Wall

2007-03-30T12:52:00.000-07:00

I know I have a readership of about one now (Hi, Mom!), but if anyone reaches my blog due to the SSA issue (Standard School Attire), you can find more information at the MPASS website.

Happy V-Day!

2007-02-14T09:41:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to everyone! And since I am the mother of a teenager (and a trained sex education facilitator for my church), I want to let everyone know about Scarleteen, a great website that offers positive and thorough information about sexuality and related issues. If you have a few extra bucks, donate it to them...you'll be glad you did.

A fun quiz for the day

2007-02-08T10:50:00.000-08:00

Don't know if this is exactly right, but it looks like I may have a 2nd career in TV or radio...

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The South
The West
Philadelphia
The Inland North
The Northeast
Boston
North Central
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Sorry, I can't get the link to work right, so click here to take the test yourself.

Bless your heart, Miss Molly

2007-02-01T10:38:00.000-08:00

Molly Ivins died yesterday...what an amazing woman. She will be missed.

R-ism: Umbrella language

2007-01-30T08:07:00.000-08:00

Driving to school one day last week, R. is kicking an umbrella with his feet and it is making an annoying "whooshing" sound...

Me: R, please stop kicking the umbrella.
R: No, I like the sound.
Me (being playful): Are you speaking to the umbrella in its language?
R: Yes
Me: What is it telling you?
R: That it is an umbrella.

(Watch the "In My Language" video in the post below to get more context for this conversation)

New Autism links

2007-01-30T07:02:00.000-08:00

The Blame Game: Are School Problems the Kids' Fault? (from Wrightslaw, a great resource for parents looking for information on IEPs, state and federal laws, etc.)--a great article about school culture in terms of pinning almost 100% of children's educational problems on them and their parents, rather than looking at faulty teaching, faulty curriculum, etc.

Article on new brain research regarding autism

"In My Language Video"--a YouTube video made by a person living with autism to describe how she interacts with her world...make sure to watch it all the way through as the second half is her explanation of the first half. This is a facinating video!

New Year

2007-01-30T06:50:00.000-08:00

So, again, I've left the blogging by the wayside as my life became busy in a thousand other ways. First, D. and I were married at the end of the year...the wedding and the party afterwards were perfect. Then, the holidays came and went. Then, D. and I had stomach flu for the New Year (luckily, the kids were out of town and didn't get it, too!). Then, the kids came back from their dad's and school/work started again.

An update on R.: he was suspended on his 2nd day back at school due to hitting his teacher. As I explained yet again to the principal how suspension to R. is like a reward (he gets to stay with mom! And doesn't have to go to school which he hates!), she basically admitted to me that the suspension was more about setting an example for the other kids than helping R. to deal with his problems. Anyway, I didn't fight it, so he was at work with me for one day, and he had in-school suspension for one day--both of which he enjoyed. I had him write an apology letter to his teacher, and had a long talk with her about some of the possible causes for the hitting incident. She was very gracious and she told me that she didn't want him suspended, but that it was the principal's decision. Whatever. At this point, I am just trying to keep R. off her radar screen and hope that we don't have any further incidents this year. When he got his most recent report card, he had brought all of his grades up (to A's and B's), so that was a definite plus. Also, after the suspension incident, I made an appointment to go see a new psychologist. We have seen Dr. J. 3 times now (once with just D. and me and twice with R. and me), and I think it is working for R. He really seems to like Dr. J., and looks forward to his visits with her. I hope she can give him some tools to deal with his aggressive and fearful feelings.

Sigh. Some good days, some not-so-good days. And so it goes...

Two Days in a Row??!!!

2006-10-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

Hooray, hooray! Another good morning for R. today! We're 2 for 3 this week...

A Very Good Day

2006-10-24T08:49:00.000-07:00

R. had a very good morning today...he went into the school building without his headphones and with minimum fuss (albeit with no jacket on and it's cold here today...brrr!), walked right into his classroom, put his homework in the basket, said hello to his teacher, and sat down at his desk and got to work. Hallelujah. An everyday occurance for some kids is a day of celebration for R.

Big IEP meeting on Friday and R's tonsillectomy on the following Monday. Keep your fingers crossed for all of us!

Principal Jekyll, Principal Hyde

2006-10-19T07:06:00.000-07:00

Recently, the principal seems to have had an about-face regarding R. She has been sending me emails of apology (!) for not having a plan in place for dealing with substitutes (when R. has a sub in his regular class) and she sent me an email yesterday talking about how she thinks she and R. are bonding! Obviously, I am pleased with this turnaround...D. thinks that she finally listened to the tape of our last meeting, and decided that she needed to have a change of attitude. All I can say is that I am pleased and happy at the change, but remain cautious as I have been there before with this principal. Our IEP meeting is next Friday, so wish us all luck.

R.'s tonsillectomy has been scheduled for October 30 (the day before Halloween!). He is happy because he will get to miss an entire week of school. I am happy because this may finally help us out with his sleep apnea, bedwetting, and generally-waking-up-tired problems. It worked for his sister and I'm hoping it will work for him, too. Of course, I get to take off a week from work, also, but will spend most of the time making sure R. is comfortable and has a ready supply of popsicles, jello, and ice cream!

Update

2006-10-13T07:23:00.000-07:00

Life has been so busy that I haven't been able to write a proper post about our meeting last Friday. Needless to say, it was both good and bad (the good: the experts were all there and shared their observations and recommendations for R.; the bad: the principal's attitude). But, now, a week later, I have hope that our official IEP meeting later this month will produce some good results. The classroom teacher and resource teacher are already implementing some changes and I think we are on the way towards getting R what he needs in order to be successful in the classroom. It's such a frustrating and overwhelming process at times, but I know that all of this will be worth it in the end.

Going away for the weekend to our church retreat...looking forward to some R&R!

R-ism

2006-10-05T09:28:00.000-07:00

Today: phone call from school (of course, I'm freaking out as soon as I see the prefix on the caller ID, hoping that R. is not in trouble)

School secretary: Hi, this is R's school. R has had a small accident in the bathroom and is a little wet. The principal said that it was nothing much, but R wants a change of clothes.

Me: Is he there? Put him on the phone.

R: Hi, mommy.

Me: Are you just a little wet? Can you make it through the day?

R: No, I have pee on my underwear AND my pants.

Me: Well, it sounds like just a little...it's like water and it will dry.

R: It's not like water! You can't drink it!

Me: (big sigh)

I finally convinced him that he could make it through the day and didn't need to change his clothes. Note to self: make sure he has an extra change of clothes in his backpack tomorrow!

Better days?

2006-10-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

I received a call (FINALLY!) from the autism teacher for the school district on Friday. She was amazingly helpful and seemed to be the missing puzzle piece I'd been looking for in all of this. We are meeting with her, the classroom teacher, and the resource teacher on Friday, and I am hopeful that we will get everyone on the same page about what R. needs in order to have a successful year. We are meeting with the classroom teacher today to go over where he currently stands in terms of his academics, behavior, etc., in advance of Friday's meeting. Wish us luck!

We spent the weekend in my home state visiting my 90 year old grandfather for his birthday celebration (his birthday was last week). R. behaved incredibly well at the nursing home...he was very patient and even gave his great-grandfather a hug before we left. We had a funny moment, though...since my grandfather's short-term memory is not good, when I asked him what he'd had for breakfast that day, he said he hadn't had any (even though he had). Well, R. heard this and at the end of our visit, he didn't want to leave until "someone had given Papaw his breakfast!" It was really cute...

Frustration

2006-09-28T09:16:00.000-07:00

Lots has happened over the past few days, but I've been too tired and frustrated to post about it. The short version is that it feels like no one is on the same page at R's school and everyone is confused about how to proceed. I have submitted a request for an IEP meeting, which should happen before October 13. I keep coming back to the same question: why is it so difficult to get R what he needs to succeed academically, behaviorally and socially? I see this wonderful, amazing, smart kid--and, yes, he's challenging at times--but, is it so hard for other people to see all the potential in him? It is so draining to have to fight this battle year after year after year.

I'm tired and need whatever positive thoughts, prayers, etc. you have to offer.

Worn out mama

2006-09-25T11:10:00.000-07:00

Today, when I took R. to school, guess what...another substitute. This one had never seen R., had no notes from the teacher about R., nothing. I was not about to leave R. in the classroom with someone who didn't know anything about how to deal with him, so I went down to the office and found the school counselor. In the middle of our conversation, the school OT called me on my cell phone, and I went out in the hallway to take her call. It turns out that she wasn't exactly happy with the way the autism specialist was handling R's case, and she (the school OT) advised me to call an IEP meeting ASAP and get everyone there (of course, I was already on my way to do that, but had been waiting for the autism specialist's report). The school OT voiced her worry that we were losing R. academically, and that we needed to figure out what he needed in order to have success in this realm. Of course, I mentioned that what he needs is a one-on-one aide. She stated (yet again...I've heard this from so many people now) that they are moving away from the one-on-one aide model. The next time someone says that, my response will be, "Then, what are you moving toward?" I have still not had that question answered.

Anyway, by the time I had gotten off the phone with her, someone from the office had told me that R. was going to be with his old Resource teacher today (this is someone who R. loves...she is fabulous with him and I'm so sad that she's no longer his teacher...she is assigned K-2 only). I went up to her room to check on R. before I left and found him with the biggest smile on his face helping her out with a group of kindergarteners. Oh, and she said he'd already finished his math work for the day. Bravo

A little sunshine

2006-09-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

It's Wednesday and we've received no phone calls from the school in so long...I've stopped cringing every time my cellphone rings. So, the good news is that R. seems to have settled into the routine of school, and is not acting out aggressively these days.

When my mom was visiting last week, she decided to visit R.'s school on Friday and observe what goes on during his day (she also got to help put together some cool science kits that they are using this week!). Her observations were that R. is wearing his headphones almost all day and while he is behaving well, he is not connecting with the other kids and is not participating in the classroom activities like he should be. I told her that this was probably because we were trying to deal first with the more pressing issue of getting him to stop acting out aggressively...that was my primary concern at the beginning of school. But now that we've reached that goal, my next concern is his academics and social skills.

The good news is that, unbeknownst to me, the school OT had contacted the head of Autism Services for the public school system (I didn't even know that this person existed!) and she has come to observe R. this week. She asked lots of questions about his IEP, and I think she is going to be a great resource in getting R. the services that he needs. The teacher seemed very optimistic about this and said that they may be calling an IEP meeting soon to discuss this person's findings/recommendations. Yahoo! It is always amazing to me when the system works correctly...

So, hooray for the school OT, hooray for R's classroom teacher for hanging in there with him, and hooray for R. for doing the best he can every day.

Good week

2006-09-14T07:31:00.000-07:00

It's....Thursday? It's been a busy week for me at work, so I haven't posted all week, but no news is good news, as they say, and R. has had a fairly good week. His video game (Lego Star Wars 2: The Original Trilogy) came out on Tuesday, and that's all he's been talking about. The good thing is that this gives us a powerful reinforcer for him ("when you finish your homework, then you can play Lego Star Wars"). We finally had to tell him to quit talking about it yesterday...there's only so much you can hear about one topic before it drives you insane!

And I met with the behavioral consultant on Wednesday. She is amazing...gave us all sorts of good information about how best to deal with school. Most importantly, she talked about helping him to develop social skills and how it is important to teach him to deal with breaks in his routine, unexpected changes, etc. I realized how much we just work around R's obsessions and habits, but that he will have to deal with people who don't do that out in the "real world" one day. She gave me so much hope and support in what we are trying to do with R. I'm looking forward to working with her.

My mom is coming to visit today, so we plan to have a fun weekend with Nana. Good days all around this week...perhaps the sun is finally breaking through the clouds!

Substitute

2006-09-11T14:41:00.000-07:00

(Reading that blog post title reminds me of the Who song...)

Monday morning, we walk into R's class full of enthusiasm for a new week (that was me, at least), and we're confronted with a substitute. R starts freaking out, and I try to calm him down. The sub introduced himself and said that he had subbed for R's class before, and he knew all about him. He seemed very sure of himself, so I left R in capable hands (I hope). The good news is that it is after 3:00 p.m. and I had no phone call today, so that usually means nothing awful happened.

R. and Z. seemed to enjoy Macbeth this weekend...it was a very interesting production with lots of Asian influences. Of course, I had explained beforehand to R. that Macbeth was set in Scotland (he knows he has Scottish ancestors; I was attempting to make it relevant to him), so he was very confused. He kept asking, "How could it be Scottish and Japanese at the same time?" So, Z. helped me to explain that it was like when SpongeBob goes back in time on some episode of that cartoon. This seemed to work for R.

My mom comes to visit this week and she has plans to visit R's classroom. Also, we meet with the behavioral consultant tomorrow. More on this later.

Friday at last!

2006-09-08T13:57:00.000-07:00

So, R. got all of his eight stickers yesterday (a first!), but it turns out that, at the very end of the day, he kneed his good friend in the groin. The friend was trying to help R. and touched one of his tools (a "squishy ball"). R. interpreted this wrongly as his friend trying to take away his squishy ball, thus the aggression. The result is that this little boy no longer wants to be R.'s friend. R. seemed sad about it this morning, but it is a natural consequence of his action. It's important for him to understand this as he figures out better ways to communicate to people around him. And, hopefully, his friend will be able to forgive him somewhere down the road.

No phone calls from school today...that's one whole week with no phone calls for those of you who are counting! We have plans to go see Shakespeare in the Park this weekend--it's Macbeth, which I hope will hold R. and his sister, Z.'s attention. Here's to the weekend and no homework--yahoo!

:-)

Over the hump

2006-09-07T08:08:00.000-07:00

It's Thursday, and R. has had a great week. I hope I'm not jinxing anything by saying that before Friday afternoon.

His teacher wanted to try something new today...instead of him coming in and going directly to his "quiet space," she wanted him to go to his desk and start his morning work. If he did this, she said that she would give him 20 minutes on the class computer. Well, he balked a bit at first, and I thought he wouldn't be able to get it together at all. But, I made him put on his headphones, put his "hug belt" on him and his weighted lap pad, and he did it! He was worried about the regrouping in math (he hates it when he has to regroup in addition or subtraction...it messes up his sense of order!), but I helped him through the first few problems. He seemed to be able to do it in his head (he doesn't like writing the extra numbers at the top of the problem). So many things that make no sense to rest of us, but make perfect sense to him.

The bottome line is that he got over the hump. I left him happily working on the class computer. Fingers crossed for no phone calls from school!

Breathe

2006-09-06T07:17:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I think, "really, he's going to be okay. He's closer to 'normal' than so many others like him." Sometimes, as I watch him roll on the floor at school and refuse to do his work, I worry. Then, I take a step back. And realize that parenting is parenting, regardless of the challenges your child brings to you.

Just don't forget to breathe.

Little Fishy

2006-09-05T08:54:00.000-07:00

Had to get to an early meeting this morning, so I left R. in his "quiet corner" in his classroom today. Typically, I try to get him started on his work (or at least get him to sign his contract), but not this morning. No phone calls yet from school (it's almost 11 a.m.), so my fingers are crossed.

Not much news to report; we had a very relaxing Labor Day holiday. We did go swimming at the Y, and R. loved it! He even played with a little boy there who he knew from his after-care place. I'm thinking that swim team could be his thing...it's not a true team sport and the only rule is to stay in the lanes and stay afloat. I don't know how he would do with being timed, though. For now, it's just a great fun skill that he has learned and I'm so proud of him for being brave enough to jump in the deep end.

R-ism

2006-09-01T10:27:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in the car:

R: Mom, if there was a grade of "G," what would it stand for?
Me: Umm...well, it would have to be less than an "F," I guess. And an "F" is already a failure.
R: Then "G" would stand for "Gigantic Failure!"

:-)

Mama Tiger

2006-08-31T10:30:00.000-07:00

I couldn't even blog yesterday afternoon, I was so upset.

When I went to pick up R. from school early yesterday (to go to the dentist where he behaved AMAZINGLY well!), I found him in the principal's office wearing his headphones and typing text from a book into his adaptive computer. The principal then accosted me about why R. was refusing to do his work in the classroom and said, "well, if he refuses to do his work, then why is he here?" I'm looking at him contentedly typing into his computer on her floor and thinking, "if he's so utterly defiant, then why is he doing his work so happily right now?" Anyway, things went downhill after that. She kept pushing me to explain exactly what R. could and could not do and why, I kept telling her to read his file to get those answers and that I had to take him to his dentist appointment and why don't we schedule a meeting to talk about these things? I felt completely ambushed. She acted like this was just the last straw, when I had been so happy earlier that his behavior had evened out and he was not hitting, etc. any other kids this week.

The good news is that through my frustration yesterday, I did what I do best which is to call everyone I can think of...which led to me talking to a behavioral consultant today at our local Children's Hospital who deals with kids on the spectrum. D. and I are meeting with her in a few weeks, and she has already promised to serve as support for his classroom teacher and resource teacher. Plus, she already has some good ideas to keep him on task in the classroom.

Also, his teacher emailed me this morning to say that he was doing so much better today, and that they had figured out that he could dictate his writing to her (or another kid) and then have R. type their writing into his computer. How creative! And a much better solution than rushing to judgement and questioning the child's placement in a public school. Mama Tiger was out in full force today and yesterday...you don't want to mess with her!

**shout out to my friend, Sheri, for the Mama Tiger reference.

Brain Freeze

2006-08-30T06:42:00.000-07:00

Today, R.'s brain was frozen. At least, that's what he said as I was trying to get him into his day at school. I had read on another autism mom's blog (who knew there were more of us?) that sometimes these kids have a problem with white paper...it's too bright for them. So, I asked R's teacher if she could put his daily contract on colored paper rather than white. She happened to have a few copies run off on light green paper, so we used that today. Hard to tell if it was helpful or not, though, since R decided that he wasn't having anything to do with writing today...not even the date and his name.

Sigh. I left him working with his former Resource teacher (that's what they call Special Ed these days) who always had a great way of making him laugh and getting him to do things when no one else could last year. She is a miracle worker. Let's hope that she worked a miracle on R.'s frozen brain this morning.

Tuesday Sunshine

2006-08-29T12:50:00.000-07:00

R. had a good morning...no hitting, choking others, or taking off his pants at school (yesterday's fun!)...bravo! The only wrinkle this AM was an announced fire drill. He started worrying about that the moment they announced it on the intercom first thing. I told him he had his headphones on and they would call his teacher on the intercom before the big buzz. I left with my fingers crossed. His teacher emailed me mid-morning to say that he was fine during the fire drill...no small feat. I'm really coming to love his new teacher; I think she gets it.

Oh, and R.'s new obsession (and I mean a literal obsession...he mentions it all the time) is the release of the new Lego Star Wars II video game on September 12. Their website even has a countdown clock until the big release...how nice of them to accomodate R. that way! He's taken to checking the clock online every morning and he worries that it really won't be released on Sept. 12 as they say. My mom is tapped to actually get the game for him...he asked her this weekend on the phone. She says she likes his directness. No subtleties with this kid, nosiree!

Monday

2006-08-28T12:21:00.000-07:00

This morning, R. slammed into the door at school first thing. Then, he rolled up in a ball and rocked back and forth on the floor when he was supposed to be doing his work. I couldn't even get his headphones on him. Finally, as I tried to ignore what was going on, he started taking off his pants (to get my attention? because the waistband of his underwear was bothering him? I don't know). I was so angry at him...

But, I finally got him on track, got his headphones and "hug belt" on him, and got him in his seat. I left and told his teacher that at least he was being quiet and sitting in a chair. A small triumph.

Update: I went to check in on him at lunchtime. His teacher said that he had tried to take off his pants again, and I was reminded that we need to get him larger underwear (maybe that will help? He keeps complaining of "rashes," which I think are just the waistband bothering him). He had his headphones on and was reading a "Captain Underwear" book (do you see a theme emerging?) in his quiet place. He had settled down so much; I was proud of him.

His teacher was concerned that he wasn't doing any work and especially since she will start grading them soon. I told her that I wasn't concerned with grades; I would be happy just to have consistent good behavior from him. I think she thinks I'm a strange parent that way! She also asked me if I had thought about how he will deal with middle school...I couldn't tell her that I think about this all the time...way too much. Instead, I said that we take it one year at a time (one day at a time!), and we'll deal with that when it happens. She's really trying to help R., and I do appreciate it, but this is all new for her. R. and the new teacher are both on the learning curve.

As I left R. at recess (which he hates), he was contentedly reading his book with his headphones on...sitting on the stairs...doing the best he can do.

He can draw, so why can't he write?

2006-08-25T07:16:00.000-07:00

This is the question that I got from R.'s principal today. Not in so many words, but it was there underneath the surface of our conversation about her watching him draw this intricate picture of cyborgs and transformers battling the humans. In the moment, I had no answer for her. She and I have a history (thankfully, most of the bad stuff happened long ago), so I always have my guard up around her. After I left her, I thought of possible reasons why...drawing is free from expectations to produce or communicate, while writing is all about that. I'm sure R.'s anxiety level rises just thinking about writing at this point. I worry that they will take away his adaptive computer (fancy word for "laptop") and make him write. He just got the computer this week and is doing well with it. Sigh. Sometimes I think I know how R. feels--people coming at you from all sides. Sometimes I want to scream, "We're doing the best we can!" Sometimes I want to hold him like a little baby and go back to the time before we knew about all of this.

Day 9

2006-08-24T11:35:00.000-07:00

It's 1:30pm, and I have yet to get a call from R.'s school. This is a good thing! Days 6 and 8 were bad this week, but Day 7 was fine. Let's hope Day 9 will be the day that he keeps his hands, feet, and other objects to himself. I've got an hour and a half to go (3pm is when his school lets out). Fingers crossed....

Update: YAY! Day 9 was a good one. He wore his headphones all day and did his work AND kept his hands, feet, and other objects to himself. We're celebrating tonight!

3rd Grade

2006-08-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

R. started 3rd grade last week...I know the drill, so I met with his classroom teacher, his new Resource teacher, his new Art teacher, and the principal beforehand. Since he has been at this school since kindergarten (mid-way through that year), they know him. So, it seemed like everyone was on board. But it is so difficult to explain R. to someone who has never met him...it is an experiential thing! How can I explain how wonderful and smart he is, but how he will go on sensory overload for no apparent (to us, at least) reason and start attacking his friends? (already happened once this week). Or how he will interpret a gesture from another kid as a life-threatening event and then grab that child around the neck to stop him? (also happened this week). His new teacher is also new to the school, so the good thing is that she had no preconceived notions of R. But I could see it in her eyes when we talked...that look of "what am I getting myself into with this kid?" It is always so difficult for me to balance talking about R.'s limitations with talking about his strengths. Since his is a "hidden" disability and he is verbal, everyone assumes that he is "normal." And I want him to be "normal"...or at least functioning as normal. But I also want him to get the help that he needs when he needs it. It is such a fine line to walk...wanting him to be independent, yet knowing that he needs help.

A good example: when I took R. to get his haircut the day before school, I told the stylist that he hated the sound/feel of the electric clipper on his skin and near his ears. She chided him, "You're a big boy...you can't be scared of this!" What should I have done? Told her, "he's not scared because he's not a big boy, he's scared because it sounds like a jackhammer in his ear, you stupid idiot!" That's what I wanted to say, but instead I reassured R. that I was right there, that the buzzing sound would not last long and I held his hand throughout. I didn't want to waste my time or hers by explaining SPD to her. These are decisions I make every day when dealing with R. and the world. Soon enough, he will have to make these decisions for himself.

A change in focus

2006-08-24T09:00:00.000-07:00

Recently, I have decided to change the focus of this blog, and talk about one of the biggest issues that I face daily...being a mom to my eight year old son who has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD) and Pervasive Developmental Delay--Not Otherwise Specified (PDD-NOS). This change in focus was born out of desperation relating to a very commonplace event...the start of a new school year. While my older daughter looks forward to the first day of school each year with anticipation and excitement, it is something that my son, R., dreads. For him, it means having a new teacher, a new classroom, a new set of rituals, routines, and rules...all of these things upset him more than you can imagine. So, out of my own frustration to try and help him (and as a writer who deals with life's issues best by writing about them!), I decided to use my blog as a place to vent my feelings, share our successes, and connect with other families dealing with children on the autism spectrum. It will be a place for me to record the absolute joy and the weary challenges of being a parent to one of the most amazing kids ever. I look forward to sharing my journey with you.

It's....almost May?

2006-04-29T12:04:00.000-07:00

One of my three readers actually posted to ask why I haven't posted since February. Ack! Is it really almost May?! Looking at the calendar, I find that it is too true.

What have I been up to? Let's see...working, taking care of the kiddos, thinking about planning a wedding next year, thinking about buying a house next year, writing, worrying about not exercising, launching a new grantwriting business on the side...you know, just your typical Diva Mommy activities! D. participated in this project at Vanderbilt with Judy Chicago, which opened on April 21. If you live in Music City, go see it! It's open until May 13. His project is entitled "100 Women." If you look closely, you'll see my name and my daughter's name on the wall he painted. It's a very cool piece, and he worked so hard on it. I'm very proud of him! The picture below is of Darling Daughter at the opening listening to Judy Chicago speak. She (DD) was tired and hungry, but held it together for the sake of art.

Oh, and Steely Dan goes on tour this summer...and they're coming to Music City...yessss! I'm so there. Finally downloaded "Morph the Cat," and I like it. Of course, as I said to a friend, it would take a whole lot to make me *not* like anything by DF--he'd have to put out a record full of screeching ala Yoko Ono for me to not like it (note to self: record? Yoko Ono? you're showing your age, Diva).

I'm engaged!

2006-02-27T17:29:00.000-08:00

D. proposed on Valentine's Day...I'm a sucker for the romance! We plan to be married in June 2007. Happy happy, joy joy!

Tagged and Dangerous

2006-02-06T08:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, I got tagged by yelhsacrow, so here goes:

The Rule of Four

Four jobs I've had:

1. Food Stamp Lady in Denton, TX
2. Picture ID taker at the University of Southern Mississippi (my first real job!)
3. Polymer Science grantwriter
4. 4th grade teacher

Four movies I can watch over and over:

1. Gone with the Wind
2. The Goodbye Girl
3. Bridget Jones' Diary (only the first one!)
4. The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert

Four places I have lived:

1. McComb, MS
2. Denton, TX
3. Aberdeen, Scotland
4. Nashville, TN

Four TV shows I love to watch:

1. Survivor!
2. America's Next Top Model
3. The Weather Channel (is that a show? More like a state of mind!)
4. Sex and the City

Four places I have been on vacation:

1. Stavanger, Norway
2. Washington, D.C.
3. Disney World
4. Lake Tahoe, NV/CA

Four of my favorite dishes:

1. Beans and Three from Calypso Cafe (favorite sides: bean and corn salad, corn muffins, house salad)
2. Artichoke and Spinach Lasagna
3. Fried Green Tomatoes
4. My grandmother's peach cobbler

Websites I visit daily:

1. My Yahoo
2. Celebrity Baby Blog
3. Salon.com
4. New York Times.com

Four places I would rather be right now:

1. In a cozy B&B in Scotland with D.
2. At home reading a great book
3. Skiing in Lake Tahoe
4. Dancing around my living room with my kids

I'm not going to tag anyone else, since I don't know more bloggers. So, let the tagging stop here!

Survivor...Again and Again and Again

2006-01-30T17:35:00.000-08:00

Survivor Panama: Exile Island starts on Thursday, and not a moment too soon! This one ought to be good...4 tribes divided up by age and gender (initially, at least). Should be some other shake-ups as well, in terms of the rules. Needless to say, I can't wait! There's just so much entertainment that American Idol can provide (usually not too much after the horrible, wonderful, fugalicious audition rounds).

The post in which I eagerly anticipate Donald Fagen's new CD!

2006-01-20T13:26:00.000-08:00

Just heard Donald Fagen's new song, H Gang, on XM Cafe yesterday and went to search for news on the new CD. It's dropping in March! Cool! Off to search for more news about the CD....

The post in which I apologize to my 2 readers for no posts in forever and try to remember all of the movies I saw over the holidays

2006-01-19T08:58:00.000-08:00

First, apologies to A. and K., my only two readers, for not posting in a while.

Second, I spent the majority of my time over the holidays (when kids were gone to their dad's) watching movies. Really. Oh, and eating cookies and chocolate (which explains my fervent attendance at the gym this past week). Let me see if I can remember all of the movies I saw (theater movies first):

The Squid and The Whale: from Noah Baumbach, who co-wrote the screenplay to My Life Aquatic with Wes Anderson. Great performances from Jeff Daniels (who knew?) and Laura Linney (as usual--she always brings her A-game...when is she going to get an Oscar?). Kid to watch: Owen Kline (son of Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline)...much better than that "I see dead people" kid or the freakishly-ET-looking Dakota Fanning. Scene between him and Jeff Daniels when they are playing ping-pong is priceless, my brother.

Pride and Prejudice: Gorgeous movie with the gorgeous Keira Knightley. Oh, and Donald Sutherland and Judi Dench are in it, too. The last scene reminded me of the last scene in Sixteen Candles, though (not that there's anything wrong with that!).

Fun with Dick and Jane: Went to see this with D and his son (son's choice). I really like the new Tea Leoni wild-psychotic-mom character that she's got going (see Spanglish). And it had the best quality of a Jim Carrey movie--the fact that Jim Carrey playing Jim Carrey did not bug me to death (as he usually does).

Syriana: This movie had "Terribly Important" written all over it, but it was much like Traffic without the drugs. I like the plumper, older George Clooney. And who knew that Jeffrey Wright (see Broken Flowers) could play such a good straight man? He's my new favorite "actor who is so good, but never gets noticed" (former favorites: Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Don Cheadle, and that other guy from Boogie Nights. Basically, the whole Boogie Nights cast, but that's another post for another time).

Brokeback Mountain: Brilliant. My best movie of 2005. Here's a better review than I could ever write myself.

Memoirs of a Geisha: Beautiful to look at, delightful to hold, but if it's broken, I've been sold (a bill of goods). An entertaining book, but the movie dragged on, and on, and on. So much more could've been done with this movie.

Movies I saw on DVD or at D's house on cable:

Mystery Men: I kept saying to myself, "why did I never see this movie?" It was hilarious and had all of my favorite people in it (Ben Stiller, Jeanene Garofalo, PeeWee Herman). I liked it enough to consider it for my very-exclusive DVD collection (I think I own 10 DVDs, tops).

Liar, Liar: As you know, Jim Carrey playing Jim Carrey usually bugs me to death. But, D. insisted that we watch this movie, and it was pretty good. I do like Jim Carrey better when he is playing someone else (like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

The Warriors: This was a DVD that belonged to D's teenaged son that we watched. The most remarkable thing about it was that Michael Beck (of Xanadu fame) was in it, along with James Remar (best known for his role as Richard the Rich Guy who broke Samantha's heart on Sex in the City--until she fell in love with Smith, that is. Best decision she ever made.). This movie had that gritty, late 70s, one-day-I'm-wearing-legwarmers-and-rollerskating-with-Olivia-Newton-John and-one-day-I'm- kicking-butts-and-taking-names kind of feel to it.

parts of Bad Boys 2: I never saw this whole movie, but I saw about 60% of it. Gabrielle Union is cute, Will Smith is funny (though it was bizarre imagining him as the Fresh Prince while he's shooting all of those people) didn't like all of the violence. Which is why I didn't see all of it.

Movies I saw for the second time (or umpteenth time):

Kinsey: Same reaction as before. Went on a bit too long, and Laura Linney was the best thing about the movie.

Bridget Jones' Diary: A movie I actually own on VHS. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. D and I watched this at my house the night I made him vegetable lasagna. We both laughed like we'd never seen it before.

Bottle Rocket: Owen and Luke Wilson's tour de force (directed by Wes Anderson). They will never make a movie this funny and this quirky and this heartwarming ever again. Plus, it was shot in Austin, TX and I recognize some of the location sets. Favorite line: "They'll never catch me, because I'm f***ing innocent!"

So, there you have it, folks (all 2 of you). My Life in Movies, or something like it. Kids are now back, school's in session, and I'll be lucky if I get to the theaters to see anything but Hoodwinked in the next month or so. But there's always Netflix!

Update: forgot about seeing (for the 2nd time) Love Actually (liked it just as much the 2nd time).

What Would Jesus Smell Like?

2006-01-04T08:46:00.000-08:00

Longer post later, but for now this will have to do.

Praise Jesus!

Open the box!

2005-12-21T08:35:00.000-08:00

My friend, K., mentioned a music website called Pandora, and I created an account today. What a cool site! And it's free (at least for now). Check it out, and let me know what you think!

(Thanks, K.!)

New year

2005-12-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

Now that all of my reality TV shows are over for the season, I'm feeling like I need to turn back to writing more about poetry, books, music...other art forms! TV is so addictive that way...visual crack or somesuch.

Anyway, my family celebrates our holiday early, so I've already gotten my presents, the tree's needles are falling, and I'm reflecting on the past year. 2005 was a good one for me...lots of life lessons learned, some harder than others. I feel blessed in so many ways, but always see room for improvement (the human condition, I suppose). One of my wishes for this next year is to try and take more time to just "be"...a difficult concept for me, at best. I'm a do-er and a move-er and find it difficult to just sit and be. But that will be my project this year...find more ways to "be."

As usual, I have a Christmas Break Movie Orgy planned...there are about 8 movies that are playing right now (or opening soon) that I want to see. I don't think I mentioned that the kids, D., and I saw The Chronicles of Narnia a few weeks back. I thought it was fabulous...the kid actors were all spot on. My kids and I have been reading the books, so it was fun to see the characters come to life on the big screen. The movie got a big thumbs up from all of us.

So, I'll post some movie reviews soon...The Squid and the Whale is the first on my list to see.

What I'm reading right now:

Surrealist Love Poems, ed. Mary Ann Caws
Elegy on Toy Piano, Dean Young

What I'm listening to obsessively these days:

Live, Erykah Badu
Katy Lied, Steely Dan
"Brighter Than Sunshine," Aqualung

What I'm dancing around the house to these days:

"Feel Good, Inc.," Gorillaz
"Beverly Hills," Weezer

Happy 2006!

Danni, the nice one, is the Sole Survivor!

2005-12-12T08:29:00.000-08:00

Nice girls do finish first! At least, sometimes on Survivor. :-)

So, I was wrong about Rafe going first; it was Lydia instead. But, that made sense. Even though I really liked Lydia and really respected her game, she was definitely not a physical player. I couldn't even imagine her lasting for long at all in that final immunity challenge.

I have to say that I was a bit shocked when Danni chose Steph over Rafe in the final 2, but again, it definitely made sense for Danni (she had a much better shot at the $1 million with Steph by her side). Plus it made for a MUCH more interesting final Tribal Council, though I thought Judd would go off even more on her. I did like his "well, you'll be starving for my vote!" comment.

So, another Survivor season is over, sigh. I suppose I'll have to pick up a book and actually READ over the Xmas break now! ;-)

Shoutout to my Survivor phone buddy, JM! You rock! :-)

Automotive Tiki Idol!

2005-12-09T10:10:00.000-08:00

So, Cindy thought she could break that car curse. She even turned down giving 4 cars away to her tribemates as a talisman against the car curse. She flagrantly flaunted the car curse at Tribal Council. Didn't you ever watch the Brady Bunch episode in Hawaii, Cindy? Don't you know that you can't tempt the Tiki Gods that way? The tribe has spoken...buh-bye, Cindy.

In ANTM news, the bland midwestern looking girl won. Blah, blah, blah...Kim should've won. When does American Idol start again?

At least we have the Survivor finale to look forward to on Sunday! My sentimental favorite is Danni, just because I like her. I don't think she necessarily "deserves" to win, but she is the finalist who I'd most like to go have a drink with. But, Lydia has been my pick from way back...she's a stealth player who has flown under the radar somehow even with a clear target on her back from week 2. Go, Lydia! She's the real gamer of the bunch. Rafe is like Ian from last season, but with more of a Jesus complex. Steph is just so....Steph. I loved her last season, but she's hard to even like this time around. So, my pick is Lydia (she'll get the "sympathy" vote, much like Sandra from the Pearl Islands season). I think it will be Rafe out first, then Danni, and Steph and Lydia will be in the final 2. But, we'll see what happens, my little chickadees!

PS--I just read my older post about my final 4 being Steph, Rafe, Lydia, and Gary. I was 3 for 4...whoo-hoo!

Who's your daddy now, Judd?

2005-12-01T19:03:00.000-08:00

Tonight's Survivor episode was the BEST this season! I love it when they blindside people, and it's even better when they blindside someone I DETEST! I had hopes that Judd was going down, but I was worried that they might be teasing us and Lydia would go home instead, but NO! Steph switched sides at the last minute and cast the deciding vote for Judd. Yahoo!

It may have been the biggest betrayal ever since Kelly/Sue from the first season. Should make for an interesting final tribal council if Steph makes it that far (which I think she just might now).

Also, we are saddened in our house by the elimination of Kim and Jayla on ANTM. We're still watching, but we aren't as excited as we were before. We're rooting for Nic now, only because we have to root for SOMEONE. Sheesh.

Survivor/ANTM Update

2005-11-21T08:44:00.000-08:00

And for the reality TV fans, an update:

Ding, dong....Jamie's gone! In a bit of excellent play by the remaining Survivors, they crossed tribal lines to vote Jamie off. I love when this happens! And Bobby Jon's gone, too, so I'm doubly happy. I'm now rooting for Gary (who would've thought he'd end up being the underdog at the beginning? He seemed to have many advantages back then). And I told you that Lydia was a stealth player! Watch out for her....and for Rafe. My final four now is looking to be Lydia, Rafe, Steph, and Gary. That would be awesome! We'll see how it all plays out...

And for ANTM, ding, dong, Lisa's gone! I mean, that bit with the adult diapers? Hello? I did like her spunky attitude, but she quickly went psycho on us. We're rooting for Kim in our house...go, Kim!

The map of missing things

2005-11-21T08:35:00.000-08:00

Saw Laurie Anderson this past week--it was mesmerizing. Got to meet her at a reception the day before her show--she was very personable and interested in everything. I want to be her when I grow up!

Catching up....Chicken Little was enjoyed by all ages. Loved the disco/dance hits (Spice Girls, Gloria Gaynor, etc.). I'm seriously behind on my movie-watching...hope to catch up over the Xmas holidays. Got 3 new CDs in the mail this weekend: a Chet Baker compilation, a jazz chillout compilation (with an awesome cover of the Doors "Light My Fire" by Julie London), and the Erykah Badu Live CD (finally!). Also, got a CD for my daughter for Xmas, but can't tell you what it is yet. Gotta get on top of the Xmas shopping as we are celebrating our holidays early this year.

Off to the land of my birth (MS) this holiday week. Will post any interesting pictures later.

These are the people in my NotRepublican neighborhood

2005-11-03T12:38:00.000-08:00

Okay, big disappointment in our household last night...America's Next Top Model went with one of those "let's recap the season so far because we're too lazy to show a real episode, shall we?" shows. I hope we get a new episode next week. But, we have Survivor to look forward to tonight, my little Tribal Council buddies! And it's merge-time--hurrah! Now, I can finally get all of their names straight. I'm amazed that Steph and Bobby Jon are still in the game. I've done a complete 180 on Steph...she was my favorite player last time, but I'm tired of her whole martyr-schtick. And Bobby Jon...puh-leaze! Why do they always have to find the Southerner with the worst accent ever? Really, we don't all talk like that!

For your liberal viewing pleasure today...a little Sesame Street flashback, starring Rov-er, Big Bird Bush, and the other NotRepublicans. Not for the children! (Source: Poplicks.com)

Movie updates: we're going to see Chicken Little this weekend--my son insists that we see it the day it comes out. I'll post a review later.

More Joyce! And a movie review

2005-11-01T12:07:00.000-08:00

Here's more about Joyce, our favorite single-monikered singing sensation (scroll down past all of the hoo-ha about Cameron Crowe to get to the good part). Who knew I was tapping into the Joyce Fever that is sweeping the nation with my last post?

Joyce Update #2: And yet still even more about Joyce (click on her picture to the left under the heading "Nice Ladies," and then on her album cover). You can even listen to a snippet of one of her songs at this website, aptly titled "I Get All Excited" (not to be confused with Rick Springfield's "I Get Excited" or the Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited). Help, Joyce is taking over my life!

I went to see Prime this past weekend, but I can only give you half a movie review, since I only saw half the movie! It was the strangest thing ever...halfway through the movie in a crucial exchange between Uma Thurman (love interest girl) and the guy (some TV star guy who I've never seen before), they start talking in digitized robot voices. For a second, I thought, "Now this is an interesting transition/effect!" But after another second, it became clear that it was a movie malfunction. I left the theater, told the management about the problem, got my raincheck for another movie, got my daughter and her friend out of the arcade (they had seen The Fog, surprisingly rated PG-13, which they proclaimed to be scary but not too gross). So, I saw most of the movie for free, and I'll get it on Netflix so that I can see the ending. What I did see was okay...the scenes with Uma Thurman and Meryl Streep (plays her therapist) were the best. I didn't really buy the romance between Uma and the TV guy.

Next movie I can't wait to see: Capote. Love, love, love me some Phillip Seymour Hoffman.

Top 10 Worst Album Covers of All-Time

2005-10-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

Shout out to DT for this one.

I have one word for you: Joyce.

Learning to Love You More

2005-10-21T12:19:00.000-07:00

If you haven't checked out the Learning to Love You More website yet, do it now! I found out about it from my friend Ashley (on her great blog), and I submitted my first assignment the other day, and now it's up! It's hard to describe...just go there. It's only a click away.

Karma's a B****, isn't it Karl?

2005-10-20T11:17:00.000-07:00

I'm not the only liberal actually delighting in the travails of Karl, Scooter, Dick and the rest of the Bushie gang, am I? Hah, take that, Rovey! What a difference a year makes...

Update: A friend of mine is having a Karl Rove/Scooter Libby cocktail contest. So, submit your recipes and we'll see how creative you can get!

Update #2: Buh-bye, Scooter. Et tu, Karl?

Bad TV confessions

2005-10-20T11:09:00.000-07:00

Some people are addicted to crack, or sex, or shoes, but I am addicted to bad TV (esp. bad reality TV). VH1 is my main supplier (The Surreal Life, Breaking Bonaduce, My Fair Brady, countless Bands Reunited and Behind the Musics). And the cream of the crop is, of course, Survivor. Thursday nights from 7-8pm are holy times in my house.

But, there is a new kid on the block, one that I am almost ashamed to admit that I love...America's Next Top Model. There I've said it. But, who wouldn't love Tyra Banks' over-the-top elimination voice? ("8 beautiful girls stand before me....but only 7...can go on...to compete....for the title...of...America's...Next....Top...Model!") And the clothes! And the cat fights! And the fabulously retouched photos! I am ashamed to say that even my 7 year old son is addicted to it. I am saving for his future therapy as we speak.

Top 30

2005-10-19T11:29:00.000-07:00

So, my friend William (who likes to catalogue things) has been asking a group of his friends to name their top 20 all-time pop songs. Of course, I couldn't just pick 20, so here's my list of Top 30. I interpreted his instructions to mean "popular songs"--no album cuts, only songs that made a 'chart' of some sort, and songs that are important to me (not picking based on cultural importance or anything like that). It's my personal list (in no particular order) submitted for your perusal:

1. Let’s Get it On—Marvin Gaye

2. Stayin’ Alive—Bee Gees

3. Hello, It’s Me—Todd Rundgren

4. Happy Together—The Turtles

5. Hey, Jude--Beatles

6. Suspicious Minds—Elvis Presley

7. Bohemian Rhapsody--Queen

8. Little Red Corvette or Purple Rain--Prince

9. Express Yourself--Madonna

10. Dancing Queen--ABBA

11. Every Little Thing She Does is Magic—The Police

12. Tempted--Squeeze

13. Rock With You—Michael Jackson

14. Superstition—Stevie Wonder

15. Brick House--Commodores

16. That’s the Way of the World—Earth, Wind, and Fire

17. God Only Knows—Beach Boys

18. You Make Me Feel Like A Natural Woman—Aretha Franklin

19. Peg—Steely Dan

20. Let’s Dance—David Bowie

21. Alison—Elvis Costello

22. Blue Monday—New Order

23. Hot Fun in the Summertime—Sly and the Family Stone

24. Sara Smile—Hall and Oates

25. The Boys are Back in Town—Thin Lizzy

26. Photograph—Def Leppard

27. This Charming Man—The Smiths

28. Talk of the Town—The Pretenders

29. Fly Like an Eagle—Steve Miller Band

30. Avalon—Roxy Music

For those who want to play along, check out Rolling Stones 500 Greatest Songs and submit your own list!

And a movie that everyone should see

2005-10-13T19:20:00.000-07:00

The 40-Year Old Virgin. I'm not joking. I was heaving with laughter after the first 20 seconds of the movie. D., you told me so! (and I love you for it!). Seriously, this movie is now the standard by which all comedies will henceforth be judged by me. You will thank me later.

Hurricane Katrina blew my state away

2005-10-13T18:47:00.000-07:00

...and southern Mississippi will never be the same again. There's so much to say about this, yet no words can do the hard work that needs to be done. I'm in awe of Mother Nature--we are literally at her mercy. I plan to visit southern MS next month and will post pictures then.

And I promise to blog more often...don't I always say that? :-)

Words and Wind

2005-08-28T16:42:00.000-07:00

The poetry reading last night at The Frothy Monkey went well. It was so much fun reading with Nancy Roche (my poetry partner in crime)...we did a "dueling poems" kind of reading that made it so much more interesting (and less nerve-wracking!), I think. I read some poems that I haven't read in public in a while, and a few new ones. All in all, a satisfying experience...

Now, we are concerned about all of our friends and relatives in the path of Hurricane Katrina. This is the one that New Orleans has been worried about for years. I hope that it doesn't turn out to be as bad as it is predicted, but I fear for the worst. Everyone is in my thoughts and prayers tonight as they are on the road or riding out the storm at home...please stay safe.

Flowers in Bloom

2005-08-22T11:04:00.000-07:00

Saw Broken Flowers this weekend...it was great. Surprisingly funny, and no neat Hollywood ending. Go see it if you like character-driven movies...I especially loved Sharon Stone in this one (I always like it when an actor I previously didn't like much makes me like them in a movie...Stone's performance did this for me). D. and I disagreed on the success of the ending at first, but he eventually came around. It's one of those movies that you have to let percolate for a while.

We also saw a trailer for Thumbsucker, which looks great (sort of like Igby Goes Down, perhaps?)...I'll definitely go see that when it comes out. You gotta love a movie that has Tilda Swinton and Keanu Reeves and Vince Vaughn in it!

I got a whiff of fall this morning...just faint behind the ears. My favorite season!

What I did on my birthday weekend this summer...

2005-08-18T15:27:00.000-07:00

Me in front of the Clinton Library

Replica of the Clinton Oval Office

Gotta love the Clinton swag store!

'Nuff said

Back in Black

2005-08-18T13:40:00.000-07:00

It's been over 2 months since I blogged here...what has happened to me? I took one of my two remaining PhD classes at MTSU this summer--only one more left to go now! And then comps and dissertation and one more language (Italian). So close and yet so far away. Gotta finish by 2008, you know.

So, I was busy reading 18th century literature, missing my kids (who spent the summer with their dad), listening to the silence, visiting the Clinton Presidential Library for my birthday (see pictures above), attending my 20th HS reunion (now you know how old I am), and thinking of reasons not to write or blog. I need to write now because I have a poetry reading coming up on August 27 at The Frothy Monkey here in Nashville. Kids are back in school, fall has to be right around the corner (please!), and the new season of Survivor should start soon (they are replaying old Survivor seasons on the Outdoor Living Network--Channel 72 in Nashville--and are on Season 2: Australian Outback right now).

I am thankful for many things in my life right now--good friends, being finished with this summer class, my kids being back, living in a city I love, my church and all of the great people who make it fun, and D. (you know who you are). Sometimes I'm scared that I will touch the bubble and it will burst, but then I go read Ashley's blog and laugh or read K's blog and find a nugget of truth. It's all good, people, it's really all good. And that's because we're all here.

10 Things I Learned on my trip to Washington, DC (with apologies to Ashley!)

2005-06-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

(I stole this idea from Ashley's blog...but I maintain that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery!)

10. Driving 667 miles in one day with two children in the car looks like a fine idea on paper. The execution of this idea is another matter entirely.

9. The beltway is 50 miles in circumference--total. Don't miss your exit or you'll find this out like I did.

8. More than all of the cool museums, monuments, and other exciting events he attended, my 7 year old son loved the Metro the most (especially the very long escalator rides down to the platforms!)

7. My favorite athletic team is now the Washington Nationals (Go, Nats!).

6. Sticking your head out of your brother's car's sunroof trying to take a picture of the Capitol at night (see below) will get you some strange looks.

5. It's all about where you park.

4. My daughter is the best peacemaker our family has ever produced...I wouldn't be surprised if she grew up to work for the UN.

3. I know where every bathroom is in the National Air and Space Museum.

2. My brother and sister-in-law win the award for People Who Don't Have Children Yet Are Kid-Friendly

1. There's no place like home!

Hot Fun in the Summertime

2005-05-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

Kids and I are going to DC tomorrow...my son wants to see "rocket ships" (Air and Space Museum), and my daughter wants to see the Natural History Museum and the Lincoln Memorial. I've often wondered why Lincoln is depicted sitting down in his memorial...he seems so grandfatherly that way, I suppose.

Anyway, for my birthday this year, I decided that I wanted to make a pilgrimage to the Clinton Library in Little Rock...hence, Bill-grimage 2005! I am so excited to spend my birthday with Bill (metaphorically speaking). You know I will be posting pictures...

Politics: Let's all hope that the curtain has been pulled back, and Bill Frist has been exposed for the complete opportunist that he is. Long live the Moderates!

Music: Why do I love Erykah Badu so much? And why hasn't she put out a new CD recently?

Movies: I've got to see the last Star Wars movie...for closure. Also, just read that there will be a movie of one my favorite books, Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs, coming out sometime soon. The only glitch could be that Gwyneth Paltrow is in it. Her blandness can be astounding at times, though. I think Melanie Griffith should play Augusten's mom; she might bring just the right amount of camp with her slightly butchered, plastic surgeried face and wild tatoos. Bring it on!

UPDATE: See more about Running with Scissors, the movie here and here. Annette Bening will play the mom (great choice!), Gwyn will play Hope, and Joseph Fiennes will play creepy Neil Bookman. Should be excellent!

Able to leap tall metaphors...

2005-05-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

Reading this week's Chronicle of Higher Ed, I was pleased to see that Poetry (with a capital P) made the front page...someone cares enough about the nepotistic state of poetry contests and book publishing to start a website devoted to ferretting out these connections! He's our Poetry Hero with too much free time, that's for sure. And, his name is Foetry.

I'm simply pleased that someone cares...read his discussion boards and you'll see that a lot of someones' care. And I'm glad that someone finally had the courage to say that Jorie Graham is full of herself and sighs too much during her readings. Amen, brother.

Sleepover

2005-05-13T17:40:00.000-07:00

So, I'm blogging from my daughter's sleepover...7 pre-adolescent girls...give me a medal! Yikes!

Summer weather is finally here, and I'm enjoying it. The Glenn Tilbrook show was awesome...shout out to H., P., and J. for going with me. Loved the cover of "These Boots Were Made for Walking" and especially the last song in the encore--a spirited (and spot-on) rendition of "Funkytown!" Alright!

And there's a rumor afoot that Duran Duran is coming to Nashville on July 15...I am so there! All you former Durannies better contact me now so that we can start practicing our best rendition of "Save A Prayer"--break out the dayglo and O-ring bracelets!

Marathon Girl

2005-05-06T12:10:00.000-07:00

So, one day I really want to be a marathon girl! But, for now, even the thought of running 5 miles continuously sounds hard. I've been back running about 6-9 miles per week (2.5-3 miles each run) for about 2 mos. now, and it's not easy. I suppose that's the way it goes...I'll keep running, though, until my knees give out or my half-borrowed, half-stolen iPod refuses to hold a charge.

Music update: I'm completely excited to be going to see Glenn Tilbrook next week (see earlier post)...this will be the 3rd time I've seen him, and he never disappoints. My new favorite song on constant play at my house is: "Que Sera Sera" by Sly & the family Stone.

Redemption

2005-05-04T11:20:00.000-07:00

So, I redeemed myself with my friend Ashley by actually meeting her for lunch today, so all is well in the world. Now, I just have to plow through this mountain of work at work, and perhaps by the weekend, I'll be done.

Today is Wednesday, which means tomorrow is Thursday--SURVIVOR night! Why am I so obsessed with this show? I really don't watch that much TV (well, not as much as some people, but more than others who don't have a TV). I think I like the random humanity of it...plus the faux-caveman (cavewoman?) aspect...look, we're all hunter/gatherers again! With TV cameras in our faces and product placement! Hurrah!

My friend William and I were talking about his 4 Point Scale of Happiness recently...he is a computer science Ph.D., so everything in life can be reduced to a theorem or matrix or some such for him. Here's the formula:

Use the 0-4 point scale (0=awful, 1=not great, 2=okay, 3=good, 4=wonderful!) in these categories (a word about the categories: I had to change one of them, because for me as a single mom, "family" and "relationships" come under two different categories. You can separate out the categories as you like):

Work/Finances
Relationship/Family
Friends/Social Life
Health

His theory is that if you have 3's and 4's across the board, you're doing about as well as can be expected. If you have two categories that are below 2, then that's pretty rough. It's helpful to take stock every once in a while...sometimes things aren't as bad as you think.

Movie Update: I finally finished I Heart Huckabees...it was interesting and I gave it 3 stars on Netflix. If you are interested at all in existential philosophy, you would probably enjoy it. Also, saw Gia night before last (Angelina Jolie's breakout film). She plays crazy women well. Liked the stylized realism of this movie. And saw In America the night before that...a great film. The little girls steal the show in this one. Kids and I watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory last night...I hope the new one that comes out this summer w/Johnny Depp can match the wonderful bizarreness of the original (it needs to be appropriately quirky without going over the top...we'll see if they can pull it off).

Muddled head

2005-05-03T12:14:00.000-07:00

It's just one of those days (weeks?) today...I completely zoned out on a lunch date with a friend today (sorry, Ashley!), I'm swamped at work (end of the semester), both my kids have birthdays this month....it's crazy, I tell you.

I'm listening to Steely Dan just to try and feel right again, you know? Music usually has that effect on me, but perhaps it's time for a Level 2 intervention...a Snickers candybar!

Wish I had more insight today, but I don't. The Muddled Head prevails.

I'm just no good at blogging...

2005-04-29T11:42:00.000-07:00

I mean, I have a life, people! I have bad TV to watch (they kicked Steph , my favorite castaway, off Survivor, but I'm still gonna watch it), the NY Times online to read (okay, so I'm really reading other insane blogs like my new favorite I'm Stuck in Rehab with Pat O'Brien), and children to raise!

I can't tell you how painful it was to watch the Shrub (i.e. Dubya) try to speak English on TV last night, especially since he was pre-empting SURVIVOR in order to sell his phony "save Social Security before it's too late!" plan. No one under 40 thinks there'll be anything left for us anyway. At least I didn't hear any "culture of life" BS last night (and that from the killing-est cowboy governor Texas has ever seen, in terms of death penalty cases). What a load of crap. And my own senator, Dr. Billy Frist, is right in there with the ridiculousness. I hope the Republicans do run him as their presidential nominee in 2008...I can't wait to see Hillary debating him!

Concert update: I'm going to see Glenn Tilbrook (former frontman of Squeeze) on May 11 at the Exit/In! I've seen him twice before, and he's one of my very favorites. Can't wait!

Movie update: Finally saw Sideways, and, of course, the hype sorta spoiled it for me. Thought it was good, but not great. New movies out that I want to see: The Upside of Anger (I hate Kevin Costner, but love Joan Allen), Millions, Kung Fu Hustle, and The Interpreter. I hear Sin City is good, but I think I'll wait for the DVD. I've been trying to finish watching I Heart Huckabees at home now for 3 days...it's interesting, but I fell asleep halfway through watching it 3 days ago, and have not found time to finish it. See, I really am busy!

An ironic girl is like a melody....

2005-02-11T09:42:00.000-08:00

What I'm listening to these days....

Garden State soundtrack--my favorite CD right now. I love Colin Hay's (ex-Men at Work) song "I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You," Nick Drake's "One of These Things First," and Zero 7's "In the Waiting Line." Made me go get Zero 7's CD Simple Things (another one I've been listening to over and over again). Props to my brother for turning me on to this CD (great movie, too).

Ultra Chilled '01--I know, I'm late to get on the chilled-out bandwagon. But, I love this stuff. It feels so...fresh and sexy and old and dreamy...all at the same time.

The Best of Chet Baker Sings: Let's Get Lost--love, love, love me some Chet Baker.

And, always, my Steely Dan (current fave song: "Any Major Dude"--have you heard Wilco's cover?). Throw in some vintage Queen, and we've got ourselves a party!

Crushing influence of geography

2005-02-08T10:05:00.000-08:00

Hey, go check out this review of my friend Jim Whorton's new book, Frankland. It rocks! I've known Jim since 8th grade...we were in English class together at Thames Junior High School in Hattiesburg, MS. He's still just as funny as he was then (and perhaps a bit taller, but not by much).

Quick like a fox

2005-02-08T08:42:00.000-08:00

Recent pet peeves:

People who use the quasi-verbs "emote" or "incent"

Slow, slow, slow drivers

Hair (why does it have to keep growing? why can't I cut it once and be done with it?)

These are the things that keep me awake at night (not really...I'm a very sound sleeper).

Holiday Flicks

2005-01-11T18:50:00.000-08:00

I spent the holidays watching movies...Here's my rundown:

The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou--a must-see. Bill Murray in a speedo, Owen Wilson with a Kentucky accent, David Bowie in Portuguese...what more do you want? I saw it twice.

Bottle Rocket--the Belcourt was having a Wes Anderson retrospective. This movie rocks...seeing it on the big screen made me buy it on DVD. Favorite line: "They can't catch me because I'm f***ing innocent!"

Closer-- A beautifully disturbing movie. Don't go see it with a date!

Ocean's Twelve--Fun, fun, fun. I'm still a bigger fan of Ocean's 11, but this one has its moments.

Kinsey--Laura Linney is brilliant, as usual. Also, check out Peter Sarsgaard (from Garden State). But, overall, I wasn't as impressed as I wanted to be.

Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events--An odd little movie. Interesting special effects and gorgeous closing credits. But, it was really so sad (not funny sad, but really sad). Not for kids at all.

I think that's it. Didn't get to see Sideways, so that's still on my list.

PS--I still have the Bill Clinton message on my answering machine. Does anyone know how I can save it for posterity?

Long, long time, no blog

2005-01-11T18:45:00.000-08:00

Land of my birth

The holidays have come and gone, and we're into the gray months now. Will try to post here more often.

Pieces of flair

2004-11-23T13:48:00.000-08:00

The Luna show was great...the Nashville Scene's Scott Manzler called it a "sublime show." The only talking they did with the crowd was to mention our very own Parthenon (which I'm sad to say I haven't visited yet, but plan to soon!). The band was cool, too...hung around after the show to talk to the superfans (which I'm not, but my friend is, so we talked to the Britta the bass player who looks like she could be Scarlett Johanssen's big sister). I'm a Steely Dan superfan, but that's grist for another blog post (don't get me started on my weird love for Donald Fagan).

So, I just finished my last project at work, and now I'm off to pack up my chirren's stuff and leave at 7 a.m on our trip to the Magnolia State! Can't wait to get back to the Hub City, Pike County (land of my birth), and then trip on down to the Crescent City/Big Easy/Nawlins. Whew...I'm gonna be one tired Poetry HotGirl come Sunday. I'll take pictures, though, and will post any that are interesting/beautiful/not incriminating.

Happy Stuffing!

Long time, no blog

2004-11-17T15:04:00.000-08:00

Going to see Luna at the Exit/In this Friday night. This is a rarity for me...going out twice in a week's time.

Will update with more later.

Chicks Rule

2004-11-12T22:51:00.000-08:00

Saw Mindy Smith and Tift Merritt at the Belcourt tonight. It made me want to go back and listen to the Mindy Smith CD someone gave me that I've never really listened to. Tift Merritt got people to stand up and move at the Belcourt. Well, alright.

Tell me a story, but make it sound

2004-11-11T13:47:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to get my head around language poetry vs. narrative poetry (and why do they have to be in opposition to each other?), so I decided to do a little research on the Internet to see what I could find (I'm a uniter, not a divider!).

Some background: I was brought up in the narrative tradition of poetry--Post-Confessional and all that. Not New Formalism, but as close as you can get without making the end-words rhyme. I'm still interested in what all that has to offer, but a few years ago (4 to be exact), I was introduced in a major way to the NY Poets, old-school (Ashbery, O'Hara, Koch, and Schuyler). I loved the energy, the personalism, the language of these poets. In turn, I discovered Gertrude Stein and language poetry, and I was hooked. The problem is that, while I love the project of language poetry (the Cubist attention to words, fracturing grammar & syntax, sliding along the sounds of language, etc.), I don't like the alienation I sometimes feel as a reader. Gimme a story already! So, I thought: "why can't I do both...tell a story while using language in a way that is unexpected or rule-breaking?" My first thought was that this was insane. My second thought was that it had surely already been done. And my 3rd thought (which is usually my 3rd thought) was to look it up on the Internet, and see what others have done. So, here I am.

The first place I found told me this:

"L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E P=O=E=T=R=Y was born in 1971 with the release of a new magazine titled This, which culminated in the release seven years later of the magazine titled L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E. The early 1970s was an ideal time for a new movement in poetry. Early challenges to mainstream poetry had already begun, thanks in large part to the Projectivist poets of Charles Olson, a Black Mountain poet."

Unfortunately, it went on to tell me this:

"A difficulty for many readers of L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E P=O=E=T=R=Y is its preoccupation with fragments, nonsense, and unmeaning; as well its rejection of the narrative model that has been the basis of nearly all types of literature...Whether L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E P=O=E=T=R=Y succeeds to gain a large audience is irrelevent."

This didn't bode well for my venture.

Next, I read an article by Marjorie Perloff that boiled down to one point for me...that no matter how hard the LangPo poets try to get away from "authorial domination," someone had to put hand to paper (or fingers to keyboard) and type in those words, make those choices. Bingo. The only way to get away from that would be to create a computer program to automatically generate poems (I've heard such exist), but then what would be the fun of that? Poetry-spew at the push of a button?

Hmm....I'm wondering if composers feel this need as much as writers do...the need to get away from their "authorial domination." We crave the familiar, the machine that works. A broken fax machine just doesn't have the same magic, now does it?

To be continued...

Serious Busy Girl returns to her roots

2004-11-10T19:11:00.000-08:00

My poem is now online at The Nashville Scene. The picture is cropped so closely that I can't remember exactly which shot it was (obviously, not the one of me and Poetry with a Capital P!). It looks decent enough...does anyone ever really like a picture of themselves? I always think I look way more serious in pictures than I really am (except for pictures taken at the end of a night of imbibing the demon rum...or the demon Cosmopolitan). The bio is word-for-word what I wrote in a email to the editor when she asked me to send in my bio. I figured they would probably do that, so I tried to write a good one. I didn't make it as folksy as the other writers...so, again, I end up sounding like The Serious Busy Girl. I think that this is my life's philosophy...when in doubt, be serious, wear black, be overdressed rather than underdressed. I promise I can be fun and spontaneous...really, I have references and everything.

The other cool thing is that the other 2 poems that I submitted ("Paramecium Love" and "Tribology") both received "finalist" (read: close, but no cigar) status. I feel good. I knew that I would.

Thanksgiving, the American homage to all things stuffed, looms on the horizon. The best thing about it is that I get a 5-day holiday, which I will spend driving all over the Deep South. I will take lots of pictures, and might even post some here. I will be going back to the land of my birth--McComb, MS--the Fatherland, home to Bo Diddley, Britney Spears (well, Kentwood, LA is just McComb South), the Rhinestone Cowboy, and me. Oh, and one of the streets is named E. Presley Boulevard after the King himself. Viva Pike County!

PS--I still have the computer-generated message from Bill Clinton on my answering machine. I can't erase it. Is there a 12-step group for me?

Apologies to the World

2004-11-09T13:42:00.000-08:00

Check this site out. I'll add my apology here: Really, World, we're not all Ugly Americans bent on dominating you through McDonald's and bombs. Really, we're not.

Derrida is dead and I don't feel so good myself

2004-11-08T19:28:00.000-08:00

Okay, so we've had one week (almost) since the election, and it's like it happened a year ago. Bush is now using his "political capital" (is this like a Visa with no credit limit??) to bomb the tar out of Fallujah. My favorite quote is Rummy in an AP story today: "no Iraqi civilians will be harmed" in the bombing...how can he be so sure? Do the Iraqi civilians all wear large "C's" on their heads to make sure the planes don't bomb them? War fosters the most ridiculous doublespeak...

So, my poem comes out in the Nashville Scene this week (I'll post a link for all who have requested it when it becomes available). I had my photo taken for the issue on Friday at the Nashville Public Library by a very nice guy named Josh (who just happens to be the brother-in-law of my son's teacher!! Nashville really is a small town wrapped up in big city clothes). I've never had my picture taken in a library before; Josh wasn't even sure if it was allowed officially, but we did it anyway. He took 3 shots...one of me standing in the middle of the stacks, one by the window (poet contemplates large words while staring into the morning light), and one with a book. He asked me to choose a book to be photographed with, and I froze. All of my insecurities came out (should I pick someone famous? someone obscure? Ezra Pound just to be ironic? there's that book of poetry by Jewel...AARGH!). In desperation, I picked a Poetry anthology (that's poetry with a big "P" for those in the know). As I stared into the camera, I tried to convey this thought: "Hey, I may not have ever had a poem published in Poetry, but I have touched people who have!" And so it goes...we'll see which shot they pick.

The allergy season is nigh in Nashville. I never knew I had allergies until I moved here. The locals say that it gets better once the real winter starts. Here's to real winter.

Deflated but not defeated

2004-11-04T20:07:00.000-08:00

Still getting over the big loss on Wednesday morning. I don't know what's worse...the loss of Kerry as President or the far right-wing moralizing that has accompanied Bush's win. And the scariest of all is this guy and others like him (i.e. Ann Coulter calling for charges of treason for liberals, etc.). What happened to democracy and "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free?" Sigh. Four more years. Can someone point me to the nearest war protest?

President Clinton calling...

2004-11-01T18:25:00.000-08:00

So, when I got home today, I had a message from Bill...Bill Clinton, that is. Having spent most of my voting life in the decidedly non-battleground state of Mississippi, I have never had the pleasure of the recorded message from a Famous Politician imploring me to get out and vote. From what I've heard, Tennessee is not considered "in play" for 2004, but Bill's not ready to give up on us yet. Bless you, Bill.

Hillary in 2012!

UPDATE: I found out last week that I won 3rd place in The Nashville Scene's 2004 Fiction/Poetry Contest...$200 prize! I'll post a link to the poem soon (the print edition will come out 11/11/04). For those non-Music Citizens out there, the Scene is our alternative weekly. R.T. Smith, ed. of Shenandoah, was the judge.

Pumpkins for Bush

2004-10-31T21:17:00.000-08:00

The scariest thing I saw on Halloween night...

Tender Trigger

2004-10-29T17:09:00.000-07:00

First post, first words. Who knew the Internet would take off and be such a hit with the kids? I remember when it was just a wee lass, when it was in black and white, when I was still Queen of the Nerds (wait, I still am). I'm in awe of other people's blogs and simply the number of books on their shelves (some people actually provide photographic evidence!). My bookshelves swell and shrink according to the house I am currently renting and how many child-rearing manuals I think I may need (26 at last count). "Rearing" is such a lovely way to describe raising children...I fear that I'm the rear. Single mom-dom exponentially raises one's stress level...I'm perpetually outnumbered. I won't give up my illusions of control without a fight, though--schedules! chore charts! succulent spreadsheets! Fragments are a girl's best friend...

Top 5 list of rejected names for this blog:

1. Poetry HotGirl Speaks!

2. Me and Jimmy Schuyler Ride the Rails

3. Everybody Wang Chung Tonight

4. Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Dukakis

5. Plink, Plunk, Plank

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Read more Gertrude Stein...enjoy her crunchy goodness.