3rd Grade

R. started 3rd grade last week...I know the drill, so I met with his classroom teacher, his new Resource teacher, his new Art teacher, and the principal beforehand. Since he has been at this school since kindergarten (mid-way through that year), they know him. So, it seemed like everyone was on board. But it is so difficult to explain R. to someone who has never met him...it is an experiential thing! How can I explain how wonderful and smart he is, but how he will go on sensory overload for no apparent (to us, at least) reason and start attacking his friends? (already happened once this week). Or how he will interpret a gesture from another kid as a life-threatening event and then grab that child around the neck to stop him? (also happened this week). His new teacher is also new to the school, so the good thing is that she had no preconceived notions of R. But I could see it in her eyes when we talked...that look of "what am I getting myself into with this kid?" It is always so difficult for me to balance talking about R.'s limitations with talking about his strengths. Since his is a "hidden" disability and he is verbal, everyone assumes that he is "normal." And I want him to be "normal"...or at least functioning as normal. But I also want him to get the help that he needs when he needs it. It is such a fine line to walk...wanting him to be independent, yet knowing that he needs help.

A good example: when I took R. to get his haircut the day before school, I told the stylist that he hated the sound/feel of the electric clipper on his skin and near his ears. She chided him, "You're a big boy...you can't be scared of this!" What should I have done? Told her, "he's not scared because he's not a big boy, he's scared because it sounds like a jackhammer in his ear, you stupid idiot!" That's what I wanted to say, but instead I reassured R. that I was right there, that the buzzing sound would not last long and I held his hand throughout. I didn't want to waste my time or hers by explaining SPD to her. These are decisions I make every day when dealing with R. and the world. Soon enough, he will have to make these decisions for himself.